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Insect · Eyes


Tickling my blood and shifting its flow

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I was in a really bad mood, until I read all those lovely comments people left me at that community. I like how they all believed me. Please, I'm not that shallow of a person, that's just sad, I just wanted to see what would happen. I was bored last week and was in the mood to troll around with my friend from class a little bit during a 3 hour break to go fabric shopping and work on a group project. You can tell we accomplished a lot. Ha. We ruffled some feathers didn't we? I'm sorry I can be pretty childish. She's a bad influence on me. I find myself cussing twice as much lately.

Now I'm amused, and a little less stressed out though. Maybe now I can actually fall asleep, insomnia has been good at keeping me up as of late. I have a cold too, so I just keep coughing and coughing and I'm so tired but it's so scratchy and painful that I wonder if I should even bother.
The other night I got a phone call at 3am, for a second I thought I recognized it but now I can't remember and I sort of wish I could turn back time to answer it.

No point in really dwelling on it, it's been raining today and it makes everything gloomy, including myself. I'm so incredibly bored, but I have finals, and homework, and the only fun I get is online, but I just hate sitting here for longer than an hour. I also cant sew gloves, I've remade them a few times already, my materials are running out, but I'm stupid and I can't make them look presentable. We should have picked something simpler for class, they look basic but it's all of that sewing in between the fingers that's giving me a headache. And I can't get the thumb to sit right without it bunching. It's a little frustrating, but I have tomorrow to work on them again. Practice makes perfect right? I hung out with my pals Cecilia and Garrick the other day, it was pretty nice catching up, especially since I haven't seen Cecilia in what? Almost a year? It made me realize that I'm not alone in feeling like I'm stuck. Like I'm in a rut and I can't move forward. We are in the same boat, very few of us who graduated together have a job in Graphic Design, I feel bad sometimes, seeing as I wasted 3-4 years of my life getting a degree that doesn't really do much in the end. Guilty only because my parents paid for it, like it was a waste of money that they could have invested in something better. But they made me go right to college asap, before high school even ended I had to already been accepted at a uni. I wanted to take a break from school, to wind down, I had a rough senior year I was sick and missed a whole month of school. I remember wanting to apply at Otis for illustration, or to FIDM for Fashion design, but they told me it would have been a waste. Ironic huh? I'm dealing with it now, it's a little late in my life but there is always time for a career change, you're never too old to go back to school. Or to decide you want something else out of life. I should probably head off, I don't think I've mentioned that my grandpa is really sick, and in the hospital, I'm seriously really really worried. He's been having problems with his heart, we've been sending him money to pay for the bills since he is the provider for his family, but I'm positive my mom would rather just go in person, I wish it were possible. I really want to see him too. Why is everything so hard lately? Can there just be an off button?
Current Mood:
amused amused
Current Music:
Queen
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